I don’t like to admit it, but…

by | Jun 28, 2023 | Follow your energy, Artist Journey | 0 comments

I talk often about the dance between creative energy and physical energy. Sometimes it’s seamless; other times it’s not. I know the occasional discordance exists, but that doesn’t mean I’m happy about it.

For the last two days, I’ve been finding myself tired and exhausted around 5-6pm. I’ve been getting plenty of sleep, and so I’m not suffering from lack of sleep.

I’ve been chalking it up to 1) a lot of stuff is going on (and when isn’t there?) and therefore a need to process, 2) I’m hitting that time of life where there’s all sorts of changes… metabolic, hormonal, etc., and 3) other variables I’m not aware of.

Today, I was a bit frustrated. I wanted to do all sorts of things, but I was tired. And I could feel it. I told Mark I felt like a two-year-old. “I don’t want to take a nap! I’m not tired!” That crankiness is always my red flag that I’m tired and I don’t want to admit it.

I’m usually pretty okay about listening to my body and following my energy, but this evening I wanted something different. My creative energy had all these ideas of things I wanted to do. My physical energy was just saying “no.”

Under protest, I followed my physical energy and took it easy. Mark and I made one of our favorite meals: Mark’s chicken (ask him for the recipe – I don’t know what he does!) and baked potatoes (you can ask me for the recipe as it’s amazing).

We ate in front of one of our favorite action movies, The Expendables 2. (We had started Expendables 1 yesterday, but I was so exhausted that I fell asleep immediately.) Tonight, after we finished eating, even though we were only a quarter through the movie, I told Mark that I wanted to go up in the art studio and do some art.

I NEVER do art at night.

So why tonight?

Well, for one thing, the weather changed. It had been oppressive and a bit humid. This evening, things started to clear up, and it was actually cool outside. We opened up windows and doors, and when I opened up the sliding glass door in the art studio, the cool breeze immediately flowed in.

That’s what started my energy change. I wanted to be in the art studio with the cool air blowing in.

I would like to be a little more in control (story of my life) of my energy and what I choose to do with it. Maybe I’m more at the mercy of unseen things than I’d like to admit.

What I do know is to follow my energy. That’s how I honor myself, my art, my soul, and whatever direction the Universe is prompting me toward.

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